tonystaarks: #HOW DOES STEVE CARELL NOT HAVE AN EMMY JUST FOR THIS LINE
stayy0ungandwild: Opinions are like orgasms. Mine’s more important and I dont care if you have one.
i feel bad for nice sharks because no matter how nice they are everyone screams and swims away scared shitless like maybe that shark just wanted to braid hairs and talk about celebs
battybatty: Roll me up in a blanket like a burrito and kiss me
assiest: life is full of little surprises, for example: ‘dog food lid’ when read backwards is ‘dildo of god’ truly amazing
if i had a penis i would probably put cute stickers all over it
spadesslick: pimposaur: reasons not to kill yourself chicken tender the billionth number of pi is 9 it’s not gay if it’s on the moon sponges feel cool highdeas.com joe biden the letter Q dirt Some of these are legitimately calming.
theinsufferablefan: broadway-aradia: what if you had an oven that could make things cold instead of hot omg
comparingmeerkats: comparingmeerkats: this one time i had to look after a fake baby for school and i got like 100% but all i did was shut it up when it cried, he just sat with me on tumblr for 2 days he was called doug. he also enjoyed fine wine
me: forgets to hold alt down while reblogging
me: dying whale noise
mariannapaige: sometimes i think about the people in my life and i hope they are happy and i hope they do things that make them happy and are friends with people who make them happy and i hope they are just happy all the time because they really deserve it and even if they didn’t i would still want them to be happy because i guess that’s just what happens when you like someone a lot
murkurlur: augustuswtrs: artistic-therapist: augustuswtrs: people who call vaginas ‘vajayjay’ you think you got problems my sister calls them ‘vajigglyjags’ vadidgeridoos
petparent: poopflow: do you ever feel like a plastic bag No, I always feel like a Prada bag