Nowhere is now here

tonystaarks:

#HOW DOES STEVE CARELL NOT HAVE AN EMMY JUST FOR THIS LINE

(Source: dogswithclogsblog, via blessed-arethe-cheese-makers)

stayy0ungandwild:

Opinions are like orgasms. Mine’s more important and I dont care if you have one.

(via nippled)

i feel bad for nice sharks because no matter how nice they are everyone screams and swims away scared shitless like maybe that shark just wanted to braid hairs and talk about celebs

(Source: macaronis, via nippled)

assiest:

life is full of little surprises, for example:

‘dog food lid’ when read backwards is ‘dildo of god’

truly amazing

(via nippled)

if i had a penis i would probably put cute stickers all over it 

(Source: fatggot, via nihaoplatypus)

spadesslick:

pimposaur:

reasons not to kill yourself

  • chicken tender
  • the billionth number of pi is 9
  • it’s not gay if it’s on the moon
  • sponges feel cool
  • highdeas.com
  • joe biden
  • the letter Q
  • dirt

Some of these are legitimately calming.

(via h-u-m-o-u-r)